Three weeks ago, we were at a pageant and the contestants were not permitted to wear typical pageant hair and pageant makeup. This event is referred to as a Natural Pageant. The contestants were required to wear jeans and the pageant furnished the T-shirt so all contestants were dressed the same. There were over 50 contestants in the pageant and it was a great experience for all. After the pageant, everyone congratulated one another and it was such a positive afternoon. A modeling and talent scout from Orlando was also in attendance and served on the judge's panel. It was an incredible event.
This weekend...keep in mind...three weeks later...we were at another pageant and the contestants were permitted to wear pageant hair and have pageant makeup. This event is referred to as a Semi-Glitz or Glitz Pageant. This pageant was benefiting a cancer foundation. As soon as one set of parents arrived...the trouble began immediately. We saw everything from asking who was in their category to leaning so far out into the audience to see who the judges were that they almost fell onto to the stage. This set of parents and grandparents acted just like the ones you all love to watch on TLC and the WE channel. It was fabulous reality tv in the making.
Afterwards, several parents complained because their child did not win, their child did not win Best Smile (really?), and also the judges did not sit right (is there a certain way judges should sit?), did not judge correctly (because their child did not win!) and the judges spoke to each other (gasp)!
Have we forgotten the reason why we encourage competition from sports, to cheerleading, to gymnastics, to pageants? There must be a winner! We must congratulate the winner, learn to lose graciously and move on to the next event. We will not always agree with the outcome of any competition, but complaining is not the answer. Showing such animosity towards others in front of your children is not the answer. Maybe the answer is....pageants are not for you!
Thankfully, the director of the pageant held this weekend has decided to be selective of which applications are accepted to their events from now on. I agree with that stance. "We apologize, but you have been known to create an unhealthy environment at the events you attend so we encourage you to go elsewhere". More pageant directors should be so bold and set an example.
We should encourage girls to enter these competitions to have fun, win or lose graciously, gain self-confidence, meet new people and increase their interview skills. If the parents cannot play nicely, they will have need to find a new playground.
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It is truly sad to see this happening in an activity that has been around for so long. Pageants are meant to improve self-confidence. It is about the children, teens, and young adults learning something they can carry with them the rest of their lives. It could be one day landing the dream job because they are able to handle the pressure of an interview with a future boss; or perhaps just holding their head high as they walk into a room filled with peers.
I was a witness to certain famlies and moms this weekend who acted out of line at a pageant. It was sad to watch them as they worried over who the judges were and what judge judged which pageant. Asking question's such as, "Why my child did not win Best Smile but she won Best Hair and Best Dress?" Really.... you should be proud as a parent to know your child is up on stage having fun and improving their self-esteem.
I fully support the Director of these pageants in screening applications in the future and being selective from now on in who can participate in this pageant. As a director myself, I would rather have fewer contestants that loved what they were doing and just thankful to recieve a participation trophy over contestants whose mom's only wants the gold and the right to say my child beat your child.
It is contestant's like the teen girl who raised over $700 for the National Children's Leukemia Foundation by going door to door and out in the community that I praise and give my thanks too. Her heart was in raising money for this great charity and that is what counts in the end.
To sum up; trust your pageant directors and know they are there to help you. Their goal is to put on a family event that allows children to showcase their talents and love for being on stage.
BELIEVE in your children, in yourself, and others. By doing that you will have accomplished more than you ever set out to do.
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